The Whatever Republic of Tur Monkadzii is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by John Barns with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, infamous sell-swords, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 7.142 billion Tur Monkadziians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tur Monkadzii City. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Tur Monkadziian economy, worth a remarkable 1,259 trillion pesos a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 176,294 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Policy reversals are more often graceful demi-détournés than u-turns, doctors prescribe videos of political debates to patients with insomnia, Tur Monkadzii has been greatly criticised for its isolationist policies, and many believe that the only good horse is a dead horse. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tur Monkadzii's national animal is the horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Tur Monkadzii is ranked 247,917^th in the world and 4,639^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 45.7 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.