The Federal Republic of Takaik is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Rokaroaka with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, pith helmet sales, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 2.314 billion Takaikians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Education. The average income tax rate is 22.6%.

The all-consuming Takaikian economy, worth 244 trillion seans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 105,845 seans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens sporting mohawks must carry family trees on them at all times, raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing, teen parties are often ruined by wet blanket chaperones, and the government is frequently held to ransom by the increasing demands of bloodthirsty pirates. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Takaik's national animal is the dove, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Any.

Takaik is ranked 195,640^th in the world and 83^rd in The Kodiak Republic for Largest Populations, with 2.31 billion capita.