The Chilled Republic of Premiora is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by President Ranada with an even hand, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, infamous sell-swords, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, devout population of 2.5 billion Premiorans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Premiora City. The average income tax rate is 76.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Premioran economy, worth 425 trillion Premiors a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 170,366 Premiors, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

President Ranada steals from the rich and gives to the needy, kilts and cassocks are viewed with suspicion, the annual Adult Film Awards have a category for most titillating aftershave advert, and the army lives rent-free in foreigners' heads and houses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Premiora's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Premiora is ranked 5,219^th in the world and 286^th in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 128.21 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.