The Constitutional Monarchy of Clocriestes is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Gabe Caldiri with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 1.038 billion Clocriestesians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abbotsford. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.5%.

The all-consuming Clocriestesian economy, worth 99.3 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,653 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

Being sent to collections is more dangerous than ever, peace talks occasionally rack up a higher body count than the wars they seek to stop, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, and exploding toys that leak battery acid are back in the shops after the government declared child safety 'over-rated'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Clocriestes's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is THE KARTEL SMNN RELIGION.

Clocriestes is ranked 51,647^th in the world and 1,587^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 4,223.17 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.