The Commonwealth of Kejester is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Grand Visionary with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.083 billion Kejesterians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Keljest City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.3%.

The powerhouse Kejesterian economy, worth 95.8 trillion Kejsas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is 88,441 Kejsas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 323,317 per year while the poor average 17,160, a ratio of 18.8 to 1.

Dessert dishes make up the Kejesterian breakfast menu, state-run museums boast about their anti-Kejesterian art collections, sheep-like political loyalists repeat the mantra "one wheel bad, three wheels good", and burglary is widely regarded as the national sport. Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Kejester's national animal is the Penguin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Kejester is ranked 313,647^th in the world and 1,333^rd in Europeia for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -6.32 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.