The United States of The New Oceanic States is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, absence of drug laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 213 million New Oceanic Statesians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.8%.

The frighteningly efficient New Oceanic Statesian economy, worth 17.4 trillion Oceanic dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is 81,516 Oceanic dollars, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, doctors spend more time writing sick notes than caring for the sick, and students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. Crime is well under control. The New Oceanic States's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

The New Oceanic States is ranked 90,717^th in the world and 2,036^th in The North Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 16.52 kickbacks per hour.