The Democratic Republic of Eyernawk is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Eyernuwi with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, complete lack of prisons, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, cheerful population of 14.876 billion Eyernawkians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nawk Eyer. The average income tax rate is 33.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Eyernawkian economy, worth a remarkable 5,430 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 365,083 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security, crocodile roadkill is smeared across the asphalt of the new Formula One track, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, and humble workers tempt fate for a taste of airline caviar. Crime is totally unknown. Eyernawk's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Nawkeyen.

Eyernawk is ranked 83,808^th in the world and 961^st in the Pacific for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 2,489.9 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.