The Parhlüverriesischemöglißkeil of Eisenbansk is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Där Grosstäv with an iron fist, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.798 billion Eisenbanskisch are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vorrknastel-9525A. The average income tax rate is 90.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Eisenbanskisch economy, worth a remarkable 1,601 trillion Züchëts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 276,232 Züchëts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

They say insanity is torturing the same citizens over and over again and expecting a different result, bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity, Eisenbansk's heavy congestion charges are the bane of motorists' lives, and it's usual for grandparents to stay in the family home with their descendants but younger children are often frightened of them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eisenbansk's national animal is the Tschang Baster Kietten, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Eisenbansk is ranked 268,270^th in the world and 9,587^th in Lazarus for Fattest Citizens, with 6.74 Obesity Rate.