The Marionettes of Cuddlebuns is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Empress Niobe with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 8.559 billion Cuddebloops enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cuddlebuns. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Cuddlebun economy, worth a remarkable 1,692 trillion Golden tem flakeses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 197,692 Golden tem flakeses, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,401,019 per year while the poor average 9,310, a ratio of 150 to 1.

Law schools are hurrying to teach the "prank defense" to their students, cars speed down national highways while drivers sleep at the wheel, the national security service are a bunch of crooks, and the daily weather forecast often predicts light showers of debris. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cuddlebuns's national animal is the Pouka, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Bloopsjooj.

Cuddlebuns is ranked 288,010^th in the world and 10,892^nd in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -541.5 on the Scary Big Number Scale.