The Nomadic Peoples of Cannitan is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Sir Beans McCracken with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 3.505 billion Cannitanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Dolly Parton Dream-Village. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The Cannitanian economy, worth 238 trillion Fins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Information Technology industry. Average income is 68,094 Fins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees his shadow, power to the people comes from the barrel of a gun, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets, and the new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cannitan's national animal is the Dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Giant Lasagna.

Cannitan is ranked 223,594^th in the world and 7,379^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -100 on the Scary Big Number Scale.