The Federal Republic of Birand is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ethan Evers with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, conspicuous electricity pylons, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 3.721 billion Birandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 43.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Birandian economy, worth 548 trillion guilders a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 147,323 guilders, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

This summer's chart-toppers sound almost the same as last year's, lobotomies haven't been the same after the practice was severed, elementary school children develop thousand-yard stares, and Ethan Evers's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Birand's national animal is the bison, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Birand is ranked 298,711^th in the world and 1,259^th in Europeia for Nicest Citizens, with 1.11 average smiles per day.