The Free Islands of The Coarsal Pirates is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by High Captain Balman with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, feral children, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 7.405 billion Pirates live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Law & Order and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blacklake Isle. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Coarsal economy, worth a remarkable 2,649 trillion gold marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 357,752 gold marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region, the Coarsal war navy contains an oddly large number of luxury yachts and cruise liners, a sledgehammer and a spray can are seen as the default tools of political debate, and the Army mostly consists of colonial subjects. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Coarsal Pirates's national animal is the kraken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Alcoholism.

The Coarsal Pirates is ranked 12,932^nd in the world and 711^th in Osiris for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 357.39 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.