The Great Kingdom of Scarpland is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Lord with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 4.706 billion Scarpish are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scarpington. The average income tax rate is 82.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Scarpish economy, worth 634 trillion Scarpish Minoes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 134,752 Scarpish Minoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines, crooks and people with too many kids are being kicked out of the country, the studies of art and philosophy are banned, and the morbidly obese often sell stock options on their own corpses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Scarpland's national animal is the Markhor, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Scarpland is ranked 18,174^th in the world and 1,065^th in Osiris for Safest, scoring 114.74 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.