The Mountain Kingdom of Lusgastan is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Karalis Stanislaus Vanags with an even hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, lack of airports, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 4.74 billion Lusgastainians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Logatoor. The average income tax rate is 72.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lusgastian economy, worth 869 trillion Kūnes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 183,422 Kūnes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children spend all morning taking out a comma and all afternoon putting it back in again, older ladies are inundated with offers to help them cross the road, major internet servers have acquired citizenship, and the sudden proliferation of nuclear weapons is very queer. Crime is totally unknown. Lusgastan's national animal is the manatee, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Moublinism.

Lusgastan is ranked 278,718^th in the world and 24^th in Valaryia for Most Primitive, scoring -321.57 on the Scary Big Number Scale.