The Grand Duchy of Satilynia is a huge, safe nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 205 million Satilynians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Welfare, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 11.0%.

The thriving Satilynian economy, worth 11.9 trillion Satalinas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 58,106 Satalinas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 169,382 per year while the poor average 15,755, a ratio of 10.8 to 1.

The Ministry of Truthiness now manages the entire media industry, going on a diet invalidates your passport, the Satilynian Intelligence Agency has put 'Project Quantum Refrigerator' on hold indefinitely, and fearful citizens watch their every move as does their government. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Satilynia's national animal is the Kinkajou, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Satilynia is ranked 226,112^th in the world and 4,619^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 56.44 law-abiding acts per hour.