The Empire of The Teahouse and Associates is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Manager and Owner Super McTea with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, compulsory military service, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, devout population of 3.597 billion Teahouse Regulars are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Teahouse. The average income tax rate is 86.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Associate economy, worth 277 trillion Teacakes a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 77,155 Teacakes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, more money is spent on policing the welfare system for abuse than on the welfare system itself, RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept, and out-of-work basketball players loom over the unemployment line. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Teahouse and Associates's national animal is the Ginger Tabby Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Beverageanism.

The Teahouse and Associates is ranked 207,515^th in the world and 4,800^th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 49.5 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.