The Republic of Zolistan is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.029 billion Zolistanians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 42.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Zolistanian economy, worth 554 trillion Usques a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 137,562 Usques, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

College athletes are arrested for selling lemonade, the government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines, in a desperate bid for cheap airfare Zolistanians can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying, and Zolistanian husbands are dead good at fathering kids. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zolistan's national animal is the turtle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zolistan is ranked 270,261^st in the world and 1,210^th in Europe for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.7 kickbacks per hour.