The Republic of Paraguay of Niwae is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Alexander II Von Kraskov with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, unlimited-speed roads, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 9.529 billion Slavics are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vaslistria. The average income tax rate is 66.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Slavic economy, worth a remarkable 2,109 trillion DURS a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 221,372 DURS, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Mums always ask their three-year-olds for permission before hugging them, access to the woods is only granted to those who bring a small shrubbery, the government has to take out its Visa to eliminate visas, and trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Niwae's national animal is the South Slavic Leopard, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Deism.

Niwae is ranked 289,657^th in the world and 338^th in Commonwealth of Liberty for Most Primitive, scoring -615.83 on the Scary Big Number Scale.