The Kaiserreich of Tuirsland is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Kaiser Friedrich Wilhelm I with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 11.171 billion Tuirians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Volksstahlhügel. The average income tax rate is 76.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tuirslandian economy, worth a remarkable 3,585 trillion Reichsmarks a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 320,968 Reichsmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children's TV shows are having a gay old time, the weather report is the prisoners' favourite programme, future leaders of Tuirsland regularly dismiss pressing political issues when available options don't conform to their worldview, and kindergartners love the free balloons that their schools give them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tuirsland's national animal is the Bämburg Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tuirsland is ranked 4,441^st in the world and 4^th in Gypsy Lands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 119.4 law-abiding acts per hour.