The Confederacy of Swizzy is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Pierre with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.001 billion Swizzyians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Popotamus City. The average income tax rate is 71.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Swizzyian economy, worth 573 trillion Swizzes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 63,763 Swizzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain, the wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned, families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain, and the government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Swizzy's national animal is the Popotamus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Popotamism.

Swizzy is ranked 183,192^nd in the world and 5,997^th in Balder for Most Primitive, scoring -72.16 on the Scary Big Number Scale.