The State of Sprague Bernard is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the Governor with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The hard-working, democratic population of 29.829 billion Sprague Bernardians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Welfare, with Education, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital Heights. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.6%.

The thriving Sprague Bernardian economy, worth a remarkable 1,326 trillion betales a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 44,470 betales, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 125,529 per year while the poor average 12,610, a ratio of 10.0 to 1.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, Sprague Bernard has designated Capital Heights as its capital city, the Governor has just been declared ruler of Sprague Bernard in an international press conference, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Sprague Bernard's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Sprague Bernard is ranked 249,504^th in the world and 1^st in Sprague Bernard for Safest, scoring 30.12 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.