The Federal Republic of Smoothland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Kelvin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, avant-garde cinema, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.525 billion Smoothlandics are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marcan. The average income tax rate is 73.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Smoothlandic economy, worth 144 trillion Øpars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 94,725 Øpars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pitchforks and torches are coming back into fashion, the Department of Reduction of Bureaucratic Red Tape has set up a working committee to investigate its own excessive paperwork, country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized, and Smoothland Barrier Island residents anxiously await their 'Bridge to Somewhere'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Smoothland's national animal is the White Horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Smoothland is ranked 44,952^nd in the world and 34^th in The Kodiak Republic for Most Corrupt Governments, with 46.57 kickbacks per hour.