The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 93 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and renowned for its closed borders, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 6.667 billion Second Best Puppet 93ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 81.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 93ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,185 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 177,878 cards, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 533,635 per year while the poor average 46,313, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

Citizens are deployed to barren deserts to protect small territorial claims, the nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, and businesses often fire workers in favour of cheaper automatic systems. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 93's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 93 is ranked 266,247^th in the world and 2,346^th in Two for Most Primitive, scoring -216.9 on the Scary Big Number Scale.