The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 16 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and renowned for its closed borders, infamous sell-swords, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 6.822 billion Second Best Puppet 16ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 87.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 16ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,225 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 179,630 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Recruitment posters proclaim the army to be both fabulous and fashionable, Noah will only ring up foreign leaders if they agree to reverse the charges, all recreational drugs are legal, and owning a tractor is widely regarded as an essential prerequisite to most government positions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 16's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 16 is ranked 257,514^th in the world and 1,873^rd in Two for Most Primitive, scoring -177.26 on the Scary Big Number Scale.