The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 131 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 6.654 billion Second Best Puppet 131ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 90.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 131ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,292 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 194,223 cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Second Best Puppet 131ian soldiers know how to create single mothers in more ways than one, holiday-makers leave on the same clandestine boats that illegal immigrants arrive in, mystics are claiming that a simultaneous rise in scepticism and education budgets is correlation rather than causation, and politicians tend to jump ship to whichever party is currently leading in the polls. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 131's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 131 is ranked 240,225^th in the world and 1,087^th in Two for Most Primitive, scoring -126.04 on the Scary Big Number Scale.