The Coca-Cola Queendom of Scarlett Hazeltine is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 29.42 billion Scarlett Hazeltineans are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The medium-sized, liberal, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, International Aid, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 22.5%.

The strong Scarlett Hazeltinean economy, worth a remarkable 1,054 trillion Coca-Colas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 35,832 Coca-Colas, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Elections have been outlawed. Crime is a problem. Scarlett Hazeltine's national animal is the Otto Ludwig Piffl, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Scarlett Hazeltine is ranked 147,388^th in the world and 3^rd in The IWW for Most Primitive, scoring -52.44 on the Scary Big Number Scale.