The Confederate States of New Lochside is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Owen Dougan with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-working, democratic population of 2.773 billion New Lochsideans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Georgetown. The average income tax rate is 47.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming New Lochsidean economy, worth 246 trillion Shillings a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 88,969 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, the thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, the nation's forests are full of treasure hunters in military-grade survival gear, and New Lochsideans struggle to cut steak with a spoon. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. New Lochside's national animal is the Mia Khalfia and its national religion is Khalfism.

New Lochside is ranked 91,371^st in the world and 4,871^st in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.99 law-abiding acts per hour.