The Insula Maior of Mallorca is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Quintus Caecilius Metellus Balearicus with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, prohibition of alcohol, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 31.146 billion Mallorcans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Palma de Mallorca. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Mallorcan economy, worth a remarkable 6,364 trillion pesetas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 204,332 pesetas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,515,504 per year while the poor average 8,200, a ratio of 184 to 1.

Even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, the military has forsaken terrestrial warfare, billions are being spent on a new island airport, and the nightly news reports prosaically on the government blindly throwing money at despotic kidnappers. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Mallorca's national animal is the tourist, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Mallorca is ranked 326,233^rd in the world and 60^th in Capitalist Paradise for Nicest Citizens, with 0.26 average smiles per day.