The Socialist People's Republics of Kavagrad is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Jericho Arondeus with an even hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, pith helmet sales, and prohibition of alcohol. The compassionate, democratic population of 13.983 billion Kavagraders enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kavagrad. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Kavagrader economy, worth a remarkable 2,181 trillion People's Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 156,021 People's Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Factories place endangered birds in their rafters in pursuit of government protections, sending sick politicians "Get Well Soon" cards is considered bribery, the Kavagrad Women's Prison Choir now has a baritone section, and asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kavagrad's national animal is the Watsnu Pussycat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Various Horse-Worship Cults.

Kavagrad is ranked 285,463^rd in the world and 334^th in The Leftist Assembly for Most Primitive, scoring -443.63 on the Scary Big Number Scale.