The Borderland Queendom of Karistina is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Karistina Rajem with an even hand, and remarkable for its restrictive gun laws, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 42.263 billion Karistinans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — is primarily concerned with Environment, with Education, Healthcare, and Public Transport also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Industry are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rajem. The income tax rate is 100%.

The large but stagnant Karistinan economy, worth 784 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is 18,560 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Police officers find government bureaucracy more terrifying than most serial killers, television characters who ask how someone's doing are charged with harassment, the World Borderland Queendom Games have been won again by Karistina as no other country cares enough to compete, and the media seems excessively interested in what Karistina Rajem is wearing this season. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Karistina's national animal is the falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Karistina is ranked 278,726^th in the world and 3^rd in Bisexual for Most Primitive, scoring -317.2 on the Scary Big Number Scale.