The United Socialist Alliance of Franchina is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Maopoleon V with an iron fist, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, avowedly heterosexual populace, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 32.997 billion Franchinans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Environment, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beiris. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Franchinan economy, worth an astonishing 16,789 trillion euro de la yuan a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 508,816 euro de la yuan, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is proudly free of crabs, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Franchinan Liberator", the government is said to have a martyrdom complex, and bridge salesmen line up for blocks to make their cases at Maopoleon V's office. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Franchina's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Franchina is ranked 1,376^th in the world and 59^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 317 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.