The Imperial Armored Fortress of Firefights is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by High General Zealot with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, hatred of cheese, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 36.933 billion Imperials have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dominus Bolt. The average income tax rate is 97.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Imperial economy, worth a remarkable 6,738 trillion thrones a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 182,443 thrones, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over Firefights, political scientists despair as the national mascot election eclipses all others in voter enthusiasm, military spending is on the increase, and fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Firefights's national animal is the palatine eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Imperial Cult.

Firefights is ranked 98,442^nd in the world and 71^st in Canada for Least Corrupt Governments, with 93.41 percentage of bribes refused.