The United States of Fetzerton is a very large, safe nation, remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 359 million Fetzertonians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Albertson. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40.7%.

The all-consuming Fetzertonian economy, worth 32.5 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 90,613 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Criminals are thrown to the black bears to repay their debt to society, homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary, and conscripts often volunteer for a second tour of duty so they can get a ticket to next year's Army Revue. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fetzerton's national animal is the black bear.

Fetzerton is ranked 184,953^rd in the world and 1,801^st in the Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 115.33 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.