The Highly Efficient Empire of Evilonians is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Sumi with an iron fist, and notable for its digital currency, compulsory military service, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.891 billion Eviloners are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Area 27. The average income tax rate is 45.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Evil economy, worth 494 trillion Einars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 171,055 Einars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Bad punctuation has come to a full stop, teachers regularly paddle unruly students, popular sunny beaches always have a cloudy outlook, and Supreme Sumi's Twitcher account is typically used to share Flying Squirrel memes rather than government policy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Evilonians's national animal is the Flying Squirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Mehism.

Evilonians is ranked 276,549^th in the world and 10,160^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -296.65 on the Scary Big Number Scale.