The Intellectual Exercise of Eilean Damh is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Ser Zamboni Robert II with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, free-roaming dinosaurs, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 9.181 billion harts are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crannmhar. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Damhian economy, worth a remarkable 1,209 trillion guilders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 131,726 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political commentators say that Ser Zamboni Robert II's fruitcake plans are about to go pear-shaped, Ser Zamboni Robert II spends weekends doing the laundry of foreign leaders, signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars, and hardline members of the Red Bloc consider Ser Zamboni Robert II a filthy revisionist traitor. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eilean Damh's national animal is the elk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Skepticism.

Eilean Damh is ranked 37,440^th in the world and 440^th in the Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 33.74 flags saluted per person per day.