The Intellectual Exercise of Eilean Damh is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Ser Zamboni Robert II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 9.058 billion harts are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crannmhar. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Damhian economy, worth a remarkable 1,194 trillion guilders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 131,876 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, an endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc, weekends are spent tilting at windmills, and kids these days know how to throw a proper punch. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eilean Damh's national animal is the elk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Skepticism.

Eilean Damh is ranked 3,819^th in the world and 105^th in the Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 123.45 law-abiding acts per hour.