The Commonwealth of Balateria is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Michael with an even hand, and notable for its digital currency, otherworldly petting zoo, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate population of 2.987 billion Balaterians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Quefort. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Balaterian economy, worth 456 trillion Flankens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 152,848 Flankens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Balaterians believe manners maketh the leader, government officials stay up all night in flame wars with their constituents, rocket boots and thermal detonators have become standard-issue military gear, and trains and passengers alike are often late. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balateria's national animal is the Highland Bull, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Balateria is ranked 3,993^rd in the world and 103^rd in the Pacific for Safest, scoring 134.55 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.