The Kingdom of Definitely Not Aschente is a mammoth, safe nation, notable for its compulsory military service and irreverence towards religion. The cynical population of 9.362 billion Definitely Not Aschenteans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 37.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Definitely Not Aschentean economy, worth 244 trillion Rubies a year, is led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 26,143 Rubies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Definitely Not Aschente's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Definitely Not Aschente is ranked 139,405^th in the world and 1,055^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 77.46 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.