The Wilkshire Colony of Captain Mainwaring is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Captain George Mainwaring with an even hand, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, frequent executions, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 34.421 billion Walmingtonians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Walmington-on-Sea. The average income tax rate is 94.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Mainwaringian economy, worth a remarkable 5,417 trillion pounds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 157,390 pounds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 451,905 per year while the poor average 43,588, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

Escargots have lost their charm ever since they started to be called 'cooked land snails', charities reserve the right to not help those who go against religious teachings, the nation's police officers are famously miserable-looking, and this year's televised Budget Forecast has been cancelled because there was already one last year. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Captain Mainwaring's national animal is the lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of England.

Captain Mainwaring is ranked 33,151^st in the world and 3^rd in Walmington on Sea for Most Primitive, scoring 68.17 on the Scary Big Number Scale.