The Only Goofy Goober of Capridam is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Astor Venus with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.917 billion Capridamians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loamin. The average income tax rate is 27.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Capridamian economy, worth 446 trillion Caps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 64,584 Caps, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain, police officers often conceal their identities to safeguard against public complaints, and chests full of green leaves dumped into the harbor have many murmuring against the government. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Capridam's national animal is the Kiwi bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Capridam is ranked 34,562^nd in the world and 344^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 2,495.47 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.