The Empire of Capitista is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Nicki Minaj with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 14.409 billion Capitistans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Utopia. The average income tax rate is 72.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Capitistan economy, worth a remarkable 1,481 trillion capitas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,817 capitas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Repurposed warships fire swag at company promotional events, the number of judges has tripled in recent months, the consent form for routine blood pressure measurement has been nominated for the 'Novel Of The Year' award, and explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Capitista's national animal is the Llama, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Capitista is ranked 159,763^rd in the world and 8,604^th in Osiris for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 981.63 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.