The Democratic Republic of Beazlend is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tommy Wiseau with an even hand, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, complete lack of prisons, and labour-free parental leave. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 27.363 billion Beazlendians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alfenheim. The average income tax rate is 99.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Beazlendian economy, worth a remarkable 7,037 trillion Zennis a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 257,208 Zennis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A surprising number of travelers carry their water in vodka bottles, doctors accused of having no heart reply that cardiology isn't their speciality, people stand their fridges back-to-front to benefit from the free heating, and wandering Beazlendians are known for their one-track minds. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beazlend's national animal is the Flying turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Atheism.

Beazlend is ranked 2,230^th in the world and 3^rd in The Atheist Empire for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 11,675.26 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.