The Sloppy Drunks of Bar Tea is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, remarkable for its suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 19.623 billion Bar Teans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Spirituality, with Welfare, Administration, and Law & Order also on the agenda. The average income tax rate is 24.9%.

The Bar Tean economy, worth 699 trillion firecrackers a year, is quite specialized and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Cheese Exports, and Trout Farming. Average income is 35,659 firecrackers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

A National Academy regulates grammar and usage, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, and strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate. Bar Tea's national animal is the furball.

Bar Tea is ranked 242,260^th in the world and 5,759^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 621.25 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.