The Aetherian Fem-Tsardom of Alchembrew is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Tsar Mykola Sirko Rusyn I with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, keen interest in outer space, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 2.148 billion Alchembrewians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Amsterdam. The average income tax rate is 83.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alchembrewian economy, worth 257 trillion Alchembrewian Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 119,787 Alchembrewian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Statue-sitting has replaced the stake-out as the dullest form of police duty, hospitals in Alchembrew are too busy serving the needs of Aeternas to see Alchembrewians, rogue nations are placing suspiciously large bulk orders for student laptops, and courtrooms can be a little sketchy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alchembrew's national animal is the Lynx, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Alchembrew is ranked 271,289^th in the world and 95^th in Aeternas for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -4.9 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.