The Commonwealth of Handal Ands is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Henrik Litzinger with an even hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 14.093 billion Handal Andsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luxich Chist Grontier. The average income tax rate is 51.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Handal Andsian economy, worth a remarkable 4,442 trillion Chistes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 315,255 Chistes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Airport users are more worried about radiation than terrorism, the government is deliberately installing bloatware onto computers, what's in your genes matters more than what's in your jeans, and this year's hottest fashion trend is the Lese Majeste collection. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Handal Ands's national animal is the Jaguar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Handal Ands is ranked 288,436^th in the world and 38^th in Union of Allied States for Nicest Citizens, with 0.24 average smiles per day.