The United Kingdoms of of Porthau is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Mir with an even hand, and notable for its soft-spoken computers, digital currency, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 2.843 billion Porthauanese enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lucarowni. The average income tax rate is 67.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Porthauan economy, worth 272 trillion Portlars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 95,877 Portlars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens, historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism, bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination", and high-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Porthau's national animal is the American Crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Helanism.

Porthau is ranked 26,425^th in the world and 3^rd in Union of Allied States for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 996.54 on the Clooney Contribution Index.