The 1st Confederacy of Baltocarpathia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by President Michael Hindenburg II with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, sprawling nuclear power plants, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.091 billion Baltocarpathians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Koenigsberg. The average income tax rate is 56.2%.

The all-consuming Baltocarpathian economy, worth 255 trillion Papiermarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 122,255 Papiermarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Baltocarpathian Liberator", heterosexuality is considered positive proof of fitness to parent, it's said that any enemy of democracy is a friend to President Michael Hindenburg II, and stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Baltocarpathia's national animal is the Prussian Phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Baltocarpathia is ranked 57,614^th in the world and 38^th in The Hole To Hide In for Most Corrupt Governments, with 31.99 kickbacks per hour.