The Cookie Loving Pirates of Cookie Pirate is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Captain Cookie with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, state-planned economy, and irreverence towards religion. The democratic population of 6.51 billion Cookie Pirates are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Welfare, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wafer City. The average income tax rate is 36.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Cookian economy, worth 175 trillion Doubloons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Tourism. Average income is 26,944 Doubloons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home, even the most lowly council pen-pusher has the same political power as a senior minister, the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, and Cookie Pirate recently decided against having a capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Cookie Pirate's national animal is the Parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Biscuit Dharma.

Cookie Pirate is ranked 41,588^th in the world and 151^st in Forest for Safest, scoring 105.13 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.