The Awkward Adages of Geektopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Nijchhōh I with an even hand, and renowned for its closed borders, ritual sacrifices, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 11.759 billion Kwandoites are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mordecai. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Geektopian economy, worth a remarkable 4,373 trillion cryptos a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 371,898 cryptos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

It is considered unpatriotic to learn a foreign language, the government has begun breaking all large businesses into thousands of mom-and-pop general stores, hit TV show 'The eXecution Factor' is a critical success, and all music has been banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Geektopia's national animal is the ass, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Math.

Geektopia is ranked 119,330^th in the world and 597^th in Europeia for Most Patriotic, with 13.37 flags saluted per person per day.