The Fattest Citizens in the Pacific
World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."
 | Nation | WA Category | Motto | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |  The Rogue Nation of Momstononistan | Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce | “Better to overreact, than to regret it later.” | |
| 2. |  The NPO High Inquisitor of Myrth | Compulsory Consumerist State Aspirational Worker State | “You may all stop clapping at the ringing of the bell.” | |
| 3. |  The DOMA🎌IN of VIVIEN | Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Liberal Dictatorship | “G👏G👏” | |
| 4. |  The Dictatorship of Overdosed crackheads | Psychotic Dictatorship Communist Dictatorship | “Obey or die” | |
| 5. |  The Greedland of Anaxonia | Benevolent Dictatorship Temporary Conservative State of Emergency | “Si ça bouge pas,bouffe-le!” | |
| 6. |  The Dominion of Teufelvolk | Civil Rights Lovefest Nation-Hating Hippies | “Fight to the death!” | |
| 7. |  The Kingdom of Yellington | Corporate Police State Entrepreneurial Freedom Zone | “We will crush anyone who stands in our path!” | |
| 8. |  The Social Darwinist Imperium of The Ascendant Hive | Psychotic Dictatorship Communist Dictatorship | “What Crota began, I complete. My will... conquers all!” | |
| 9. |  The Holy Empire of Sons of Shub-Niggurath | Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce | “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl agl fhtagn” | |
| 10. |  The Queendom of Stevist Guam | Corporate Bordello Patriotic Business Zone | “For steve!” |
